FRIENDS. These are the people you cried with during the toughest times of your life and the people you laughed with during happy times. They are like your family who will be there for you through your ups and downs in life. Finding true friendship is hard, but once you find it, this is one of the greatest treasures you could ever have.
LOVERS. Someday, you will find someone who will change your life, someone you can completely be happy where you can foresee your future with. You cannot choose the person, time, and age to fall in love because love is not about what the mind thinks, but what the heart feels.
But when two of these collide, would everything be worth the risk? Is it really worth risking the friendship over your romantic feelings?
Well, falling in love with your best friend is most likely unavoidable. It is definitely a challenge not to fall for a person that you spend most of your time with. It’s very hard to pretend to be friends with someone special when every time you look at that person, all you see is everything you want to have. But the hardest thing is to decide whether to confess or hide your feelings for that person.
The outcome will always be different on every person, but as for me, based on experience with my best friend of 12 years, girlfriend of 9 years, and my wife for half a year now, everything is worth taking the risk. Here are some 5 important factors to consider before you decide on taking your friendship to the next level.
1. You already know each other well.
Since you’re already friends and you know each other very well, you skip the getting-to-know stage part of the relationship. It creates a big impact on your relationship as adjusting is easier for the both of you to handle each other’s personality. In the long run, this would come quite handy because your partner knows you well more than anyone.
There are quite a lot of downsides too, for example, he or she may also know about your past relationships and it can become an easy topic of jealousy. But for us, taking a big step of having a relationship with your friend means it should not be about the past, but being focused on having a new future together. That could be a difficult one to surpass but it really goes down on how you guys handle the relationship to make it fruitful.
2. You can be yourself with him/her.
Some guys tend to show off. Even they don’t like the idea, they will do everything for the girl they like to notice them, some of them even lie just to get the girl. But after everything and when both of them are already in the relationship, they change and become a total stranger to that person. But if your friend already knows you well, you can be weird, crazy, and funny. You don’t need to pretend because that person already accepts you of who you really are.
3. It could be weird for your mutual friends.
Undoubtedly, it will feel weird for both friends to date each other especially if they belong to the same group of friends. Both of us belong to the same group but luckily, most of them have the same case with us, friends who became lovers too. But what if you’re not? It could possibly throw off your relationship with your other friends. Some can even destroy that relationship. Yet, if you think that your friend is really meant for you, it’s worth the try. They may feel a little bit weird at first, but remember, true friends are understanding, they will eventually get used to it. Trust me.
4. It will never be the same as before.
Adding that romantic element will always be a new experience to the both of you (even if you already knew each other). A new friendship will emerge. Sometimes it could be a little rocky, and sometimes it could run smoothly like nothing changed. Most of the time when people switch from friends to lovers, they tend to forget how to actually be friends (it happened to the both of us too). The next thing you know; the friend you once knew completely turned into a different person. This could be a factor of the end of the relationship. Worse, you can’t even go back to the way as it was before, then you’ll regret it. Recalling all the experiences you had as friends will help you remember all the factors that happened why both of you are together now.
5. It may lead to a long-term relationship
Yes! if done right, it may lead to a long-term relationship. If not, it could destroy your friendship. As friends, you enjoyed being together, travel together, made fun with each other, and that will most definitely continue now that you are lovers. You would certainly stick to that person because that person knows, supports, loves you for being you.
To sum it up, the situation can go either 2 ways: You can either turn your friend into a lover and end up with a happy ever after, or end up making things worse and awkward for the both of you, ruining a perfect relationship as friends.
However, if you decide on not doing anything about your feelings for your best friend, you’ll end up saying a lot of “What if’s” for the rest of your life. If you’re a guy, wait for the right timing. Give it a chance and take the risk. It depends on the situation as well but what I can say is to always weigh things out. If the reward is more than the risk, then go for it. Nobody knows how it’ll turn out but at least you’ve tried like I did. If you love your friend, always remember it will always worth the risk.
